1 post tagged “i'm confused”

Who's going to be in the Final Four?

Wha? Final Four what? The QotD has just gone from the mundane to the cryptic. What are you talking about?

Okay. Bugger it. I'm just going to make up a response based on guess-work, whim and the vodka I'm drinking. It's what I do best.

Maybe it's got to do with the death of the sun.

For those who don't know (and haven't watched the first season of the new Doctor Who and the excellent episode 'The End of the World') in about 5 billion years the Sun is going to run out of hydrogen as nuclear fusion turns the hydrogen into helium. The Sun will get cooler and expand and form a Red Giant and in its expansion it will swallow the inner planets; Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars. Some people think that the additional gravity will suck most of the gaseous atmosphere from Jupiter, leaving an Earth size core that may eventually support life.

So who will be the Final Four planets left in the Solar System?
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune (Pluto, of course, being stripped of its planet title last year. Which is quite convenient for the purpose of this question).

What else could the QotD be referring to?

How about the Seven Dwarfs?

Let's see, we've got Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey and Grumpy. If we analyse their inherent medical and/or mental conditions we can extrapolate which of them will survive the longest.
Doc: On the surface we could say he's guaranteed a long and happy life, given his expertise in the medical profession. However, we all know that doctors make the worst patients and rarely take their own advice. An even chance.
Happy: This dwarf has a good chance of survival. Happy people stress less, and have been shown to have stronger immune systems. They are also less likely to suicide. So Happy makes it to the Final Four.
Bashful: Should be pretty safe. He's probably too shy to leave the house. However, most accidents occur at home and he might be too embarrassed to call an electrician to fix the wiring and try to do it himself. The outlook may not be so good for poor Bashful.
Sleepy: Eight hours sleep per day has been shown to make people healthier. But too much sleep can be bad, and narcolepsy may result in a fatal accident, especially where mining equipment is involved. Night-night Sleepy.
Sneezy: Already displaying an impaired immune system, poor Sneezy would be unlikely to survive an Avian Flu scare. Bless-you poor little Sneezy.
Dopey: Idiots are too stupid to die. The world is full of them. Dopey will probably live a long and blissfully unaware life. Damnit.
Grumpy: Cantankerous people seem destined to survive for a long time - it's the only thing that could explain why so many old people are so damn cranky all the time. Plus they're more likely to eventually crack and be the homicidal mass shooter rather than the mass shootee.

So who will be the Final Four surviving dwarfs?
Happy, Dopey, Grumpy and Doc.

Hmmm... what else could it be?

Who will be the Final Four condiments left in my fridge?

Let's see, we've got all sorts of crap in there. We've got egg and dairy free mayonaisse, black bean sauce, pickle of some description, some sort of Indian chutney, tahini, apple sauce, fat-free salad dressing, and my sister-in-law's home-made chutney.
The black bean sauce is out because it has grown mould. Mould is bad. Bye-bye black bean sauce.
The mayonaisse is pretty much empty. It's just sitting in the fridge as a souvenier of happier, mayonnaisey times.
The pickle is nearly empty, but it tastes pretty awful so I only use a tiny amount at a time. Why still use it? Because it's there and if I didn't it would just go mouldy (if pickle can go mouldy) and that would be a waste.
The Indian chutney is bloody awful on Indian food, but strangely it works really well in stir-fry. In theory this would mean it wouldn't last long at all, but not necessarily (see: black bean sauce).
Tahini: Probably won't last too long. I've discovered that making my own hommus is cheaper and healthier than buying it, and it tastes great in Middle Eastern cooking.
Apple sauce: Can't remember when I bought it. It's probably been there as long as we've had the fridge and it still hasn't gone mouldy. I'm thinking of keeping it more as a science experiment than for nourishment.
Fat-free salad dressing: I like salad. I like salad dressing. I think this will end up in my tummy before too long.
My sister-in-law's homemade chutney: We've never opened it, but we feel too guilty to throw it out. It's like one of those hideous terracotta pigs your grandma gets you for your tenth birthday. You keep it just in case nanna rumages through your garbage one day and discovers you just don't love her that much.

So, who's going to be in the Final Four condiments left in my fridge?
Pickle, Indian chutney, apple sauce and my sister-in-law's homemade chutney.
 
 
 
Thank you, QotD for making my life that bit more baffling. As if reality wasn't confusing enough for me.