Sabotage

The universe is seeking to f*ck me up utterly. I swear. About a month and half ago my dad came down to Melbourne and was amazed at how much weight I had lost. At that stage I was half walking, half running around Albert Park Lake every day. I'd cut down on my alcohol intake. I was starting to see body under my fat. I was feeling good!

Then uni started. I swore that once the class work settled down I'd start running again. Then it got hot. I swore I'd start exercising once it cooled down. And while I waited I ate. And I drank. And I started gaining weight again.

So I've got my second weight-loss wind. I bought myself shiny new things. I got a heart rate monitor watch (that is useless as a heart rate monitor, but good for timing my runs). I bought a new racer back sports bra and racer back dri-fit tops (great for larger boobs). I finally got a digital scale so I could monitor my weight.* I was ready to go again!

Then I got sick. And I hurt my neck.

And two days later my neck still hurts. I'm resorting to heat packs and not moving much, and it still hurts. I've done something to my trapezius muscle and I have no idea what, but I know that it hurts to move so I'm not looking forward to running.

And I weighed myself. I weigh nearly as much as when I quit Weight-Watchers. It's still four kilos lighter than when I started Weight-Watchers, but I'm still pissed off.

However, I've discovered that some of my sabotage is done by me rather than by a cruel, uncaring universe. I have been buying snackies, rationalising the decision by saying that I was exercising so I could burn it off (great if you actually are exercising, not so good if you're sitting about whingeing why you can't exercise). Yesterday it was some strange Indian cumin flavoured pastry biscuits which were okay but not great, but I ate them anyway, at least until I discovered we had left over steamed veggies from dinner. I was ecstatic! I love steamed veggies - far better than chips or bikkies. And then it dawned on me - if I'd just steamed extra veggies all these years I wouldn't have gained nearly 20 kg.

I feel like an idiot. But at least I'm an idiot who is cooking a lot of vegetables tonight.
 
 
 
 
 

* I'm weighing myself most days at different times of the day. This way I'm not going to stress over a kilo here and there as weight can fluctuate depending on the time of the month or how hot it is, but I can monitor general trends up and down. I'm thinking this is a good idea. Watch this space for any future posts complaining how utterly stupid I was for trying this. You know it's going to happen.