Here comes the bride...

Steve Bracks, the Premier of Victoria, has announced his support for a relationship register. While not constituting a marriage or civil union, it would give gay couples access to most of the same rights enjoyed by heterosexuals - access to their partner's superannuation, and recognition of being next of kin for medical issues and in the case of their partner's death. Several councils already have relationship registers operating, including Melbourne, but Mr. Bracks intends on extending it to the whole of Victoria by the end of the year.

I think this is a great step forward.

Many of my friends are gay and I've always felt angry that they don't get the same rights I do just because of their sexual preference. A lesbian couple I know are planning on having children, but hanging over them is the knowledge that only the partner who gives birth can be acknowledged legally as the baby's mother. My sister has a couple of friends who are constantly moving between countries because neither of their governments recognise same sex relationships. With a straight couple it would just be a matter of getting engaged and applying for a visa. The same thing can't happen if you're gay, so each one 'visits' the other for as long as a tourist visa allows, then they go through the process all over again in the other country.

I feel so strongly about this I informed my partner that we were not getting married until our friends could get married. Otherwise it would just be taking advantage of Jim Crow laws that discriminate against a section of society while giving others special privileges. I wouldn't patronise a shop that had a sign saying 'no gays' outside, so why would I enter an institution that does the same thing?

But now they have the relationship register. And, I've found out, it is welcoming straight as well as gay couples to sign it. I like this idea. I've always felt uncomfortable about the stance of some groups that civil unions should be only for gay people, to give them their own set of symbols and ceremonies, and leave marriage to straight people. I don't want to be lumped in with the Christian Fundamentalists who have seized the term 'marriage' for themselves. I feel I have more in common with gay people than them. I much prefer an inclusive ceremony rather than one that perpetuates old divisions. Maybe I'm being selfish, not wanting to feel left out even though gay couples have had to feel that way all their lives. I just don't want to be part of something that will essentially celebrate 'straightness'. I was born heterosexual, like I was born caucasian and right-handed; it's just something I am, not something I celebrate. I'd rather celebrate love which, as far as I'm concerned, is the same no matter what your sexual orientation is. So I'm very happy about the relationship register. Because now my partner and I can (eventually) officially sanction our relationship.

Like a wedding.

A fucking wedding.

And that's when I realised what I'd got myself in for.
 
To be continued.